The Support Paradox: Why Good Intentions Can Backfire After Workplace Setbacks

By Debra Allen

We’re often told that a supportive work environment is key to employee wellbeing. But what if the very support offered after a professional misstep is… detrimental? Groundbreaking new research from the University of Maryland challenges conventional wisdom, revealing that well-intentioned support can, paradoxically, decrease employee engagement.

Published in Personnel Psychology, the study found that attempts to comfort or reassure employees after experiencing status loss – a public misstep or failure – can inadvertently reinforce feelings of inadequacy and diminish motivation. While seemingly counterintuitive, the findings highlight the complex psychology at play when navigating workplace setbacks.

The Problem with ‘There, There’

Traditionally, the response to an employee making a mistake has been to offer encouragement and reassurance – “Don’t worry, everyone makes mistakes,” or “You’ll bounce back.” But the research suggests that this approach often misses the mark. The core issue isn’t a lack of support, but the type of support offered.

“We found that when support focuses solely on minimizing the negative feelings associated with a setback, it can actually be more damaging than offering no support at all,” explains one organizational psychologist consulted for this article. “It subtly communicates that the issue is how they feel about the failure, rather than addressing the failure itself and providing opportunities for learning.”

The study’s authors term this phenomenon ‘status repair.’ When an employee experiences a public mistake, their perceived status within the team or organization is diminished. Simple reassurance doesn’t address this underlying issue; it merely papers over it. Employees may feel infantilized, their competence questioned, even if unintentionally.

The Role of Status and Perception

“It’s about perceived status,” adds another expert interviewed for this piece. “Human beings are acutely sensitive to their standing within a group. When someone makes a mistake, their status dips. If the response is simply to offer comfort, it implies the mistake is irreparable, further solidifying that diminished status.”

The research revealed that support that acknowledges the setback, validates the employee’s feelings, and focuses on learning and growth – rather than simply minimizing discomfort – was significantly more effective. This type of support signals that the mistake is a temporary setback, not a defining characteristic, and reinforces the employee’s belief in their ability to recover and contribute.

Beyond ‘Feel Good’ – Towards Constructive Support

So, what does constructive support look like in practice? Experts recommend a shift away from solely focusing on emotional reassurance towards a more practical, growth-oriented approach. This includes:

• Acknowledging the Impact: Don’t shy away from acknowledging the mistake and its consequences. Pretending it didn’t happen trivializes the situation and the employee’s feelings.
• Validating Emotions: Allow the employee to express their frustration, disappointment, or embarrassment. “It’s understandable that you’re feeling this way” can be incredibly validating.
• Focusing on Learning: Shift the conversation towards what can be learned from the experience. “What steps can we take to prevent this from happening again?” or “What lessons can we draw from this?”
• Offering Specific Support: Instead of generic encouragement, offer concrete assistance. “I’m happy to help you brainstorm solutions” or “Let’s review the process together to identify areas for improvement.”
• Reinforcing Competence: Remind the employee of their strengths and contributions. “This mistake doesn’t diminish your overall contributions to the team” or “I have confidence in your ability to overcome this.”

The research suggests that framing the setback as an opportunity for growth is crucial. One expert noted, “It’s about helping the employee reframe the narrative. Instead of seeing themselves as someone who made a mistake, they see themselves as someone who learned from a mistake.”

A Cultural Shift Needed?

Beyond individual responses, the research suggests that a broader cultural shift may be needed within organizations. A culture that emphasizes learning from mistakes, encourages risk-taking, and prioritizes growth over perfection is essential for fostering resilience and maximizing employee engagement.

“We need to move away from a culture of blame and shame, and towards a culture of psychological safety,” says one leadership consultant. “Employees need to feel comfortable admitting mistakes, asking for help, and learning from their experiences without fear of retribution.”

The study’s findings have implications for leadership development programs, HR policies, and organizational culture initiatives. By understanding the nuances of support and the importance of addressing status concerns, organizations can create a more supportive and empowering environment for their employees – and unlock their full potential.

Ultimately, the research demonstrates that good intentions aren’t enough. True support isn’t about making employees feel better; it’s about helping them become better.